Living Your Values

Living Your Values

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Explore how to live with integrity to your values, using them to make decisions and take action.


Using Your Values to Make Decisions
Once you know and understand your personal values, you can consult them whenever you need to make a key decision. Should you accept the new job you've been offered? Should you pursue a new relationship now? How much time should you spend with your family? These can be tough decisions without a clear right or wrong answer. You may choose to answer them differently at different points in your life.

Your values list provides a shortcut for making these decisions intelligently. When you're confronted with such a decision, you pull out your list and check the prioritization of values. Then ask yourself, "What would a person with these values choose to do in this situation?" It's usually the prioritization of your values that will answer the question.

For example, if you're offered a job promotion that will shift your work weeks from 40 hours to 60 hours but double your salary, should you take it? If values like success and achievement are at the top of your list, you'll probably say yes. If freedom and family are at the top, you'll likely decline the promotion. By clarifying your values, you've already done the hard thinking required to discover what's most important to you. So now when you're confronted with such decisions, you're able to reduce them to a values comparison, and the final decision falls into place. If the promotion equates to increased success but reduced peace in your mind, then you can compare those values to learn whether it's a good idea or not. Your goal is to increase your fulfillment of your highest values without sacrificing them to lower values.

Remember that this is only one of many paradigms for making decisions. As such it has limitations, but you should find that it brings clarity to your decision-making.



Achieving Alignment
Whenever your values shift, you may find it necessary to realign the various parts of your life to restore them to a state of harmony with your values. If success is your #1 personal value, then it will be important for you to experience it in abundance. Success for you may equate to a successful career, a high income, a fulfilling relationship, and a healthy body. Ask yourself what parts of your life are misaligned with your top values, and consider how to bring them into full alignment.

When you notice a misalignment between your reality and your values, you have two basic options to restore alignment.

First, you can adapt the situation to restore alignment. So if health is your top value, and you realize you've been keeping too much junk food in your house, you can modify your kitchen to fit your new health value, phasing out the junk and restocking with healthier choices.

Secondly, you can remove yourself from the situation and start fresh to create alignment from scratch. If you find yourself in a relationship where you definitely want to have children and your boyfriend or girlfriend definitely doesn't want children, you can choose to break up and seek out a more compatible relationship.

So whenever you encounter a misalignment, you can either adapt the circumstances to restore alignment, or you can remove yourself from the situation and start fresh.

I don't recommend the third alternative of living with the misalignment if you cannot adapt to it. This would mean living without integrity to your values. An example would be choosing to remain in an abusive relationship out of misplaced loyalty. Living with misalignment for too long often results in serious negative consequences.

Whenever your values change, it's important to review the various areas of your life to make sure they're properly aligned with the kind of person you believe you are. If you're in a relationship, is it compatible with your values? If you work for a company, are its perceived values compatible with yours? If there's a misalignment, then it's time to make changes either by adapting or by getting out.



Adapting Your Values
At some point you'll encounter a situation that forces you to reassess your values. Maybe a close friend dies, a major illness hits you, or you begin a new relationship, and consequently, you gain a new perspective on what's truly most important to you. This is to be expected as you grow older and have new experiences.

Suddenly your values list doesn't seem to be an accurate representation of the real you. You've changed too much. So it's time to reassess your values and create a new values list, following the process in Living Your Values, Part I.

Depending on how fast-paced your life is and how much change you experience, you may need to update your values every few months, or they may go relatively unchanged for years.



The Ultimate Alignment
The ultimate goal of living your values is to eventually bring them into alignment with universal principles. As you experience living with different sets of values, you'll learn what's truly important to you. Your values may shift a great deal at first as you set new goals and have new experiences, but eventually they will start to converge.

Your values are your current estimations of truth. They represent your answer to the question of how to live. Some sets of values will fail to produce the results you want. They may leave you feeling restless and unfulfilled. Other sets of values bring you closer to a feeling of congruence. When you act with integrity to values that are themselves aligned with universal principles, you get the best possible results.

This process of alignment is similar to how scientists try to discover a mathematical formula to explain natural phenomena. Isaac Newton's famous F = ma law was an approximation of reality. But it was inaccurate at relativistic speeds, and eventually Albert Einstein provided a more accurate formula. Just as the physical universe is the proving ground for hypothetical physical laws, the universe will also give you feedback to let you know how closely your values align with reality.

The process of discovery in this case is still experiential, but it can't be measured as scientifically as gravity. The scientific method requires that an experiment be repeatable under the same conditions, but human problems never duplicate the exact same conditions. Once you make a one-time decision in your career or your relationships, you never face that exact same decision with identical conditions again. Since we cannot apply the scientific method to such situations, the best we can do is to try to classify events according to patterns we've previously experienced.

What this means is that the process of values clarification is inherently messy and inexact. It's also a uniquely individual experience. You cannot objectively prove that one set of values is any better or worse than another, but you can begin to see patterns over time, and these patterns can help point you in the direction of universal principles.

The existence of universal principles cannot be proven. However, as you live with different sets of values long enough and gain enough experience, you will start to see that there are certain values which massively outperform others in certain areas, hinting at the possibility that there may exist a true principle that works universally for everyone.

An example of a potential universal principle is that of fairness. If you align yourself with the value of fairness and live with integrity to it, you will likely find that it works extremely well. Fairness means that you treat everyone you encounter as a person of equal value to yourself - no more, no less. The principle of fairness is captured in the words, "all men are created equal," found in the U.S. Declaration of Independence. Fairness is the foundational value upon which democracy is built. The founding fathers of the United States upheld this value as a "self-evident" truth, meaning that they believed fairness/equality to be a universal principle.

Imagine having to design your own system for running a company or a country, not knowing in advance what role you'd play after it was launched. It seems reasonable that you would design that system with fairness for all participants as a high priority.

When your values are misaligned with the value of fairness, you will find that your results suffer. If you are unfair in your relationships or your business dealings, others will recognize and adapt to your unfairness, making it harder for you to even achieve a reasonable outcome when you want it. They may even warn others in advance of your behavior to make it harder for you to get anything done through others. So your effectiveness grows weaker the longer the misalignment exists. But when you build a reputation for fairness in all of your dealings, you will maintain strong levels of trust with others, and that will make it far easier to elicit cooperation.

I believe the ultimate goal of living and refining your values is to identify and achieve congruence with universal principles. Then your model of reality finally matches reality itself, and in the long run your actions will consistently produce the best possible results. This isn't just an individual journey either - it's one that all of humanity is experiencing with each passing century. Social creations like democracy, slavery, or capital punishment can be seen as part of an ongoing process of values clarification.

Draiman – My quest to restore Leadership, Experience and Integrity to City Hall

Draiman – My quest to restore Leadership, Experience and Integrity to City Hall

YJ Draiman

Candidate for Mayor of Los Angeles (2013)

I’m not a politician. You won’t get politically correct doublespeak from me, just the plain facts. The plain facts are often disturbing and as a NC Board Member I’ve never been shy from revealing the sometimes ugly truth about the way the City functions.

Career politicians like the current have no interest in serving the public; rather, they use public office to serve their own interests and those of the small but wealthy cadre of greedy “special interests” who fund their campaigns in return for favors when decisions over controversial matters such as billboards and development have to be made by elected officials.

All too often, the City Council’s actions support the special interests at the expense of the interests of the ordinary people like you and me.

When common sense dictates that our already over-congested streets should not be further burdened by more high-density luxury condominium developments, current elected official’s side with the developers and contractors who funnel campaign contributions to further their interests. We need a Los Angeles with Financial Sustainability that is my goal.

My pledge is for a “City of Los Angeles for the people” not for the politicians and special interests.

”To make our way, we must have firm resolve, persistence, tenacity. We must gear ourselves to work hard all the way. We can never let up.”

YJ Draiman for Mayor of Los Angeles – 2013

Draiman for Mayor of Los Angeles

Draiman for Mayor of Los Angeles


“Back to BASICS”

Fiscal responsibility

Family values

Morality

I am not a politician; I am a family man who is fiscally responsible with strong morals

The reason I am not a politician is: because the term politician as defined today stands for – corruption, special interests and pro-government instead of pro-people.

I challenge you today; to do what is good for the people of Los Angeles and than the city.

Instant gratification and No commitment

Instant gratification and No commitment

Instant gratification and No commitment

People today are looking for instant gratification without considering others or the consequences. They are reluctant or lacking any intention of making a commitment and abiding by that commitment.

Politicians are known for saying the right things at the right time with no real intentions of believing in what they say or the desire to adhere to their promises. It is all for show in front of the Media and the public. Everything has to do with what is politically correct, whether it is the right thing to do or not. Money, economic benefits, fame and power are the controlling interest. The honest concern for the public is covered up with make believe and illusion of responding to public outcry.

Many of the causes are; Peer pressure, living up to the joneses and today’s fast moving society and technology.

The technology we grew up with could easily have cultivated a "now or never" attitude, a predilection for instant gratification that no previous generation had to encounter.

It is time to look beyond self interest, fame and glory. It is time for a conviction to do what is right and ethical for the public interest with no hidden agenda. It is time to regain the trust of the public with honesty, integrity and true intentions and deeds for the public benefit.

Do not look for the quick fix, the best and lasting fix takes strong resolve, hard work, determination and perseverance to accomplish the ultimate goal on behalf of all humanity.

YJ Draiman

PS


You have young people who want instant gratification, and do not have the patience and sacrifice to help achieve those goals.

We won't experience instant gratification. We must sow before we reap; we must invest before we get a return. In other words, we must lose before we gain; we must give up time before we can experience intimacy with anyone.

In a culture where "instant gratification" and "what is in it for me" ... The word you are searching for in that definition is commitment.

The American society and its astonishing attainments have been built mainly upon the burning desires of individuals to achieve their dreams and the freedoms afforded by the society to realize those dreams. The immigrants who reached the shores of America with dreams to labor and live well were not fettered with negative ideologies or concepts but were egged on by a forceful “can-do culture”. To the entrepreneurs pursuing their dreams no river was deep enough, no mountain high enough to thwart their march in pursuit of their dreams.
By any standard, the landing of man on the moon, the Internet, the satellite communication and a host of other technological advances are no less than miracles of the modern age with America contributing the most to these miracles.
While the innovations are all laudable, as they have made life easier and longer, they have also wrought certain malevolent changes. The sequence of desire-effort-patience-fulfillment has been overtaken by a culture of instant gratification that has dropped the element of patience from the natural process, giving rise to distortions, harmful side effects and a set of debatable values.

American values have been declining and continue to decline

American values have been declining and continue to decline

As entertainers, corporations, and even the government pander to the lowest common denominator, American life becomes increasingly vicarious, prefabricated, and bereft of meaning. Let us examines contemporary American consciousness, considering the factors that have driven society toward gossip and sensationalism at the cost of substance and depth.

Celebrity news, video games, cookie-cutter schools, and shopping, shopping, shopping.
We should be concerned with the growing epidemic of acrimony, superficiality, attention deficit disorder, and complaints of ennui. We should ask for the reasons why American children have expressed their confused rage with deadly weapons, why a president boasts that he earned Cs in college, and why society has drifted into craving entertainment laced with violence and cheap thrills. This is a provocative subject for concerned citizens, as well as for scholars and researchers involved with contemporary American culture and society.

A lot of deep thinkers believe that Americans have come loose from their moral underpinnings, and that our basic institutions - government, neighborhoods, civic associations, schools, and, most important, our families - are coming apart as a result.

Where on earth do these social scientists get the idea that things are going so wrong?

Well, in large part they get it from listening to Americans, 87 percent of whom in one recent poll said they fear there is something fundamentally wrong with America's moral condition.

And this is no short-term blip triggered by President Clinton's extramarital adventures. According to Daniel Yankelovich, an icon of American public opinion polling, huge majorities of Americans have for some time believed that the nation is ``in a long-term moral decline."

A widely held belief has emerged that this decline threatens democracy itself, since freedom without morality quickly deteriorates into a society filled with violence and perversion, which increasingly seems to be what we have.

The Civil Renewal council's Call, called for making divorces harder to get, giving benefits to parents who stay home with their children, making it easier for ``faith-based" organizations to provide social services, allowing tax credits for donations to social service agencies, ending state-sponsored gambling, providing more education about the arts and more choices for parents in selecting schools, not to mention curtailing sex and violence on television.

There's much in what he says. The Call's argument that freedom without morality inevitably becomes merely the liberty to perpetrate evil is complex and subtle.

America was losing ``the habits of the heart" that once protected the nation against the wretched excesses democracy might normally entail, such as the atomization of society into hedonistic individualism, or the tyranny of the majorities.

Our contention that today we may be forgetting those protective habits fits a lot of available evidence of civic and social decline, such as the drop in voter participation, the rise in divorce, and the surge in youth violence.

Overall, we found that Americans were doing less of just about everything together, and were, quite possibly as a result, becoming more distrustful of their government - and one another.

Former Judge Robert Bork takes perhaps the darkest view in Slouching Toward Gomorrah, contending that America's slide into the moral abyss is probably irreversible, and questioning the optimistic premise about the basic goodness of human beings on which the nation was founded.

All the indicators of social health continued to decline. I looked back and saw that they had been declining for thirty years or more, no matter what the economy was doing or who was president.

YJ Draiman for Mayor of Los Angeles - 2013

Statement to the voters

YJ Draiman for Mayor of Los Angeles - 2013

It is important that the office of city councilman be responsive and must represent every resident/stakeholder in his district; the councilman’s operation must be transparent and not selective. We cannot have it business as usual and ignore our residents/stakeholders of District 12.

We must make Los Angeles more business friendly, more conducive to bring new businesses and overcome the lack of financing that is hurting business and homeowners.
We must make Los Angeles more business friendly - a place where everyone who wants a good job can find one. This transition has to take place without delay, less talk and more action. We need to streamline our policies and reduce red tape that is strangling and hampering the private-sector in Los Angeles. The city of Los Angeles is starving for new business; our taxpayers are paying too much tax. What we need is to instill confidence in our citizens. We need to develop a series of very tough-minded, market-driven, strategies that deliver in the marketplace."
By increasing the new businesses in our city, we will increase revenues to the City and the State.
Our citizens are concerned about jobs and a roof over their head. We must address those issues.
Our education system needs to be revamped and improved.
The city budget must be balanced – reduce waste and increase efficiency.
We must address public transportation expansion and reduce traffic congestion.
Business ethics are deteriorating – we must improve and regain the consumers trust.
I am your candidate, a businessman with varied life experience, that can relate to the voters concerns and life struggles.
Do you want to eliminate waste? – Elect – YJ Draiman
YJ Draiman for Mayor of Los Angeles - 2013
(March 5, 2013 Election)
Contact: yjdraiman@yjdraiman.org

YJ DRAIMAN, Bio

YJ DRAIMAN, Bio
INDEPENDENT CANDIDATE for Mayor of Los Angeles - 2013

YJ Draiman is the Independent candidate pursuing the Mayoral position in Los Angeles, California. He was raised in Brooklyn, N.Y.

Born December, 1949, YJ is a descendant of European family. After graduation from High School in 1967, YJ studied mechanical engineering in the printing industry and attended Electronic engineering school in New York City 1970-1973.

YJ, age 60, he is a successful Energy/Utility consultant, a businessman and an advocate for reducing waste in government. After working in management capacity for a few years, he opened a Real estate management company at age 27 and also opened a chain of electronic stores for retail and wholesale. While renovating buildings in the late 70’s he discovered the art of energy efficiency, methods of conserving water and reducing costs of telecommunication. In the 80’s joined the deregulated utilities marketing Natural gas, Electricity & Telecommunication, performed utility bill audits.

YJ has been actively involved in various efforts to reduce our dependence on foreign sources of energy and a strong proponent of renewable energy sources. YJ believes that our energy independence and reduction in the use of Fossil Fuels is crucial to our growth.

YJ is an outdoorsman, community activist and animal lover. He enjoys boating, diving, hiking and flying. He is an environmentalist and believes in the preservation of nature, parks and playground for future generations.

A dedicated family man, YJ married Miriam in 1971. They have two adult children: Son David, 37 and son Benjamin 34.

WHY I AM RUNNING

I have numerous important reasons for caring what happens in Los Angeles – my family and friends.

Our economic strain and the lack of jobs have prompted me to try and do something. Government spending is running rampant, efficiency is non-existent, waste is the rule of the day and bureaucracy is hampering business. We must address these concerns today to protect the future of our children and grandchildren.

Government fiscal discipline is a must. We must make Los Angeles business friendly and look for ways to address the housing crises.

Improving our education system and public transportation will improve the quality of life in Los Angeles

I want future generations to enjoy the freedom our country was based on. Keep our jobs at home and increase productivity and job security.

Sustainability – “We strive to meet the needs of the present generation without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs”.
We should discourage wastefulness and misuse, and promote efficiency and conservation.

I need your help!